BRAINCRACKING: Does Size Matter?

Hi reader!

I’m very pleased to tell you I’m going to take this blog more seriously, and I’m adding a new type of content. I’m someone who thinks a lot, I think about a lot of different aspects of society, ideology and psychology, and it has caused me a lot of headaches because sometimes I don’t really know how to switch it off. So I thought, why not share those mind races and spiritual revelations with the world? You will notice they usually won’t have a solid conclusion, but that’s because I’m not writing actual theories on here. I’m just cracking my brain out loud.

– trigger warning- 
In this post I’m talking openly about sex, sexual bodyparts and gendernorms.
If you are uncomfortable with either of those subjects, I’d recommend you to click away.


That’s a question that popped up on OkCupid, a site me and my best friend use to waste our time on, and to send screenshots of awkward conversations to each other. “Would you date someone just because they are well-endowed?”. I found myself having a really hard time answering that. It really got me thinking, so much that I just skipped the question!

I think society is often basing the separation of men and women on double standarts, and if you really think about it, it’s kind of hypocritical. The question “does size matter” is always a tricky one, because it is so subjective, and it depends on both the male and the female in the matter. I personally think size isn’t an issue, considering I also date women and people all around the gender spectrum who do not have a penis in the first place. Sex doesn’t necessarily have to involve a penis.

I think sexism is a subject that’s usually about women being treated unfairly, which is understandable because our society is male-dominated and men just have a lot of advances and get offered chances women have to really fight for, while men just simply get it without question. But on the other side of the story is, that I find that there are a lot of high expectations for men, to be a “real man”. What the hell is a “real man”?! Muscular men who treat “their woman” like their property? Tall men who know how to fix a tire and who is financially dominating his partner? Men can’t show emotions or they’re a sissy (a term I really hate btw, because it implies that being a sister, a woman, is a thing you should be ashamed of). Society has made these intricate gender norms for both men and women, to keep them in a box. It perpetuates gender separation, and divides our population in two groups just based on what’s between our legs, a ideology which I find quite outdated. Not all men have a penis in the first place, they might as well have a vagina, or the other way around. Also, not all people identify as either male ór female, like myself.

I think one of the issues is that men feel like they have to be the ultimate male, the most masculine they can be, because that’s what’s praised in the media. And I’m certainly not denying the influence of women in that, but I think that’s also just because people have learned that the more masculine and ‘alfa’ a guy is, the more attractive they will find them. But is that really all genetics or is it also pushed onto them by media and culture? Anyways, a big penis is considered a masculine trait. So a lot of men think they need to have at least an 8″ to be found a pleasurable sexual partner. It’s partly a problem between men because they keep up that conception, they show off their size and think they’re more masculine than someone else just based on the size of a body part. But on the other hand, I’ve heard girls and gay men talking about size, and I found myself absolutely disgusted. They shamed men who had a quite small endowment, and when I confronted them about it they said that “I didn’t have a voice in this because I’m gay”, which is absolute bullshit because I am attracted to any gender identity or sex, not just women.

My opinion: I think a person does not necessarily need a big sized penis in order to be great in bed. But that’s maybe because I think sex isn’t solely about vaginal penetration, I think there’s much more to it. I do think that if you want to have basic vanilla sex and just do the missionary position, being well endowed would certainly be a plus. I could imagine a person with a vagina getting quite bored with it after 5 minutes if they can hardly feel anything. But perhaps it just requires more open-mindedness, throw in toys, try different positions. If two people with vagina’s can make it work, why can’t people with small penises do it?

A question that just popped up in my mind when writing this is “what does well endowed actually mean?”. Because the first thing I think of is the size of the male genitalia, but maybe I shouldn’t have taken it that literally. Perhaps it’s more about a person’s ability to give sexual pleasure overall.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.