Gender is How You FEEL, Not What You SEE

Just to make things clear; gender and genitals have nothing to do with each other. You might think, you’re either male or female, and that’s just based on what label you’ve been given at birth. But that’s not your gender. Your gender is how you feel, it’s not directly connected to you chromosomes or your sexual parts. 

– trigger warning- 
In this post I’m talking openly about genders, transgenders, non-binary people and sexual preferences.
If you are an ignorant, transphobic little bitch who doesn’t even try to understand that not everyone identifies as a cisgender, heterosexual person, I’d recommend you to click away.


I believe gender is a social construct. Yes, I know that sounds radical and all, but I absolutely mean it. Biologically, most people are either female or male. That’s a fact. That’s their sex. But your gender is something else.

There are tons of genders. That’s because gender identity isn’t the same for everyone. I myself identify as a non-binary person. That means I neither identify with the label “man” or “woman”. A lot of people are non-binary. Maybe they haven’t heard of the term. Maybe they chose not to use it. But it’s real, some people just don’t fit within the binary! And that’s totally okay.

By Laura Speek

You see, it’s not just something new. Maybe the term is new, and there is more awareness for it now, but non-binary people have been around for AGES. The Native Americans for example believe some people are born as two-spirits, which is kind of similar to the modern concept of being “bigender”, where you feel like you are both male and female at the same time. Though some two-spirited Native Americans don’t always like being called bigender instead of two-spirit, some of them would rather remove themselves from a culture that emphasizes sexuality over spirituality and reconnect with their own tribal communities.

Society has separated the people in two groups. There’s the tough, strong men. The hunters. The dominant sex. And then there’s the dainty, caring women who bare children and cook. Even our expected behaviour and aesthetic are supposed to fit the mould assigned to our sex. You could argue that it’s based on our biology, that it’s the way we are built, just like animals are also built that way, to survive and propagate. But are we really acting and dressing this way because it’s in our nature, or because we are taught to do so since we are small? I mean, little boys wear blue shorts and cute caps right? And they play with spiderman toys and they want to be a fireman when they’re all grown up. And little girls wear floral dresses , have long hair and cute pink sneakers, and they play dress-up. But does a small child really pick up the spiderman toy because he likes it better or because that’s simply what his parents bought for him? We force gender roles on everyone and everything!

By Laura Speek

Some people fit the stereotypes quite well. Some women love makeup, and cooking and they would love to have children. But some people don’t fit the mould. Some people feel miserable trying to conform to a standard that’s old-fashioned and just really does not suit them. Some people just aren’t male or female!

My point is, only YOU know what your gender is. If you feel comfortable with your assigned gender, that’s perfectly fine! You might not even fit into the stereotypical image of your gender, but if you feel like it, that’s what you are, it’s that simple. But maybe you don’t. Maybe you do like all the things your gender’s supposed to like, but something just isn’t right. And that’s also okay. Trans men are men as well, even if they wear dresses or makeup, if they feel like they’re male, that’s what they are and everyone should respect that. And some people like myself just kinda float in between gender identities from day to day, which is valid as well! It’s called being gender fluid.

By Laura Speek


Source on Native American Two-Spirit people:


2 thoughts on “Gender is How You FEEL, Not What You SEE

  1. I feel that they are to mutch word in the gender fluid. I think is your gay . Lesbian. And the rest is just words to describe what you desire. Love you


    1. Hi Gerard,

      I’m not sure if I understand you completely but I think what you’re trying to say that there are too many terms to describe people, saying that if your gender doesn’t fit the binary, you’re just gay. And that’s a very common misconception. Let me break it down for you. There are sexuality, and gender. They are two different things. Sexuality is who you are attracted to, who you fall in love with. And gender is who you identify with yourself. My gender, is non-binary. I don’t identify as either male or female. But my sexuality is pansexual, which means I can fall in love with men, women, or anyone in between, like me. I’m not a lesbian, that would mean I’m female, and I’m only attracted to females. Which is not the case. I’m not a woman. If you’d like to know more information, I’d be glad to educate you.

      xxx Nosferatu Necromancer


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